THE MYSTERY OF MARRIAGE V (BETWEEN LOVE AND LUST (INFATUATION))

The wise will always learn from the fool. There is no glory in reinventing the wheel.

PROVERBS 30:18-23

 “¹⁸ There be three things which are too wonderful for me, yea, four which I know not:¹⁹ The way of an eagle in the air; the way of a serpent upon a rock; the way of a ship in the midst of the sea; and the way of a man with a maid.²⁰ Such is the way of an adulterous woman; she eateth, and wipeth her mouth, and saith, I have done no wickedness.²¹ For three things the earth is disquieted, and for four which it cannot bear:²² For a servant when he reigneth; and a fool when he is filled with meat;²³ For an odious woman when she is married; and an handmaid that is heir to her mistress.”

The eagle is the ultimate bird of prey. Given its size, it should not really be able to fly, but it flies with little or no efforts. A serpent glides gracefully on the rock and its path can hardly be traced. A massive ship is controlled mysteriously with ease on the vast ocean. The way of a man and a maid can only be understood in the realm of mystery. You will always see couples that will make you wonder about the secrets of their attractions to themselves. Love what God loves and hate what God hates. Therein lies the secret of being prosperous in life. Don’t measure people using Hollywood standards, God is the standard. Any standard apart from God is destined for destruction (I Peter 3:1-6). When a servant reigns, when a fool is filled with meat, the earth is disquieted. When a hateful woman gets a husband, when a girl friend replaces a wife, the earth is in trouble.

PROVERBS 6:24,25 “²⁴ To keep thee from the evil woman, from the flattery of the tongue of a strange woman.²⁵ Lust not after her beauty in thine heart; neither let her take thee with her eyelids.;

PROVERBS 31:30 “³⁰ Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised.”

Infatuation is intense temporary passion. It characterized by irrationality. A strange woman is not recognized in heaven. Once you have committed your life to God, you cannot afford to marry just any woman. Beauty is alluring but it is deceitful. In the name of beauty, many women go all the way to make up. Marrying solely because of beauty is marrying disaster. If you pay attention to lust, you will not fulfil God’s purpose. David got into trouble as a result of unchecked lust.

MATTHEW 5:27,28 “²⁷ Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery:²⁸ But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.”;  II SAMUEL 13

We must learn to arrest our thoughts before they get us into trouble. Infatuation just wants to always conquer. Amnon was caught in the web of infatuation and his end was disastrous.

THE TESTS OF LOVE

1. The test of time: Love stands the test of time, lust ebbs out after some time.
2. The test of knowledge: Love grows out of an understanding of the person being loved. Lust, not love, is blind.
3. The test of focus: Love is interested in giving not just taking.
4. The test of singularity: Love is focused on only one person. Lust is capable of accommodating desire for several persons.
5. The test of security: Love is secured in itself. Infatuation is unsecured because it is based on wishful thinking and inordinate longings.
6. The test of problem solving: Love faces and solves problems, infatuation dodges problems. Two are better than one because problems are better solved by them and they have great rewards for their labour.
7. The test of physical attraction: Physical attraction is a minute part of love. Lust is all about physical attraction.
8. The test of stability: Love endures, infatuation is highly unstable. Love is not about feelings; it is a determination to keep your marriage vows.
9. The test of delayed gratification: Love is self controlled enough to delay gratification. Lust wants to be gratified instantly.
10. Ability to let go: Love is ready to let go if need be. Infatuation wants to hold on even when it makes no sense.

 1 THESSALONIANS 4:3-5 “³ For this is the will of God, even your sanctification, that ye should abstain from fornication:⁴ That every one of you should know how to possess his vessel in sanctification and honour;⁵ Not in the lust of concupiscence, even as the Gentiles which know not God:”

The day we gave our lives to Christ, we were set apart unto God and we cannot afford to mess ourselves up with sexual immorality. We dishonour our father when we give ourselves up to fornication. We need self control so that we will not be like the gentiles who know nothing about God. Marriage should not be entered into unadvisedly. It is a sacred contract that requires a whole lot of grace, mercy and favour which only God gives.