It is not compulsory that the person you will marry must start out as your friend but friendship is needed afterwards to sustain your marital relationship. You cannot sustain marriage if you cannot cultivate and advance friendship. It is important that, even in being friends, spouses respect themselves. People from dysfunctional homes must go the extra mile to unlearn the bad habits they learnt from their parents. You are a product of the Gospel you hear so you have to be mindful of how you hear. Make sure you hear from the correct sources about marriage and every other issue of life. The foundation of our relationships is God. We will not do well in our marital relationships if we do not relate well with God.
GENESIS 2:20-23 ” And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found an help meet for him. 21 And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; 22 And the rib, which the Lord God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. 23 And Adam said, this is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.”
How did Adam recognize Eve as his wife when God brought her to him? There is a faculty in man which is similar to the Urim and the Thummim which helps man to make the right judgements. The Urim and the Thummim was only necessary when sin numbed the faculty of judgement in man. Adam, in his original state, had an accurate sense of judgement so he immediately knew that Eve was his wife when she was brought to her. When God created man initially, he breathed Bios life into him rather than the Zoe life and he could only produce children after the order of his kind of life. However, God has always had a need for a set of children after His Kind of Life that cannot sin and die. Every godly marriage is a testimony to the Ultimate Marriage of Christ to the Church.
HEBREWS 5:5-13
God is always interested in taking us deeper and deeper into the knowledge of Him. However, we don’t always like to leave milk for strong meat. There are many mega churches today that are built on milk because they are so contented. Milk affects your capacity to judge between what is right and what is wrong. People that use milk don’t have their minds properly formed. The word of righteousness helps us to upgrade our capacities for judgement. We have to exercise our senses to discern both good and evil. We can only be said to be matured if we can always differentiate between truth and falsehood. When you handle the word of righteousness and you use it skilfully, you are tending towards maturity. Using the word is simply obeying God’s commandments from one level to another.
ROMANS 12:1-2 ” I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service. 2 And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.”
I CORINTHIANS 10:8 ” Neither let us commit fornication, as some of them committed, and fell in one day three and twenty thousand.”
I CORINTHIANS 6:18 “Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body.”
II TIMOTHY 2:22 “Flee also youthful lusts: but follow righteousness, faith, charity, peace, with them that call on the Lord out of a pure heart.”
ISAIAH 55:7-9 ” Let the wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous man his thoughts: and let him return unto the Lord, and he will have mercy upon him; and to our God, for he will abundantly pardon.8 For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord.9 For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts. ”
Many of us have problems because we always like to conform. We cannot import Babylon ideologies into Zion. Israel got into trouble because they wanted to be like other nations. Every time we conform to the world, we automatically make ourselves God’s enemies. The easiest way to self-destruct is to pitch your tent against God. One of the easiest ways to be against God is to dabble into fornication. God can kill because of fornication.
Covetousness is one serious trap that will always get us into trouble. If you have not learnt to be contented in your situation, you are a disaster going somewhere to happen. You will never know the will of God if you get accustomed to culture of this world. When we begin to think like God we will know the will of God. You will never behave like God when your thoughts are wrong. You need a sound mind to be on the same page with Him. We have to be constantly recalibrated in our minds so that we can reason differently. This can only happen when we dig deep into the word of God.
ROMANS 8:1-9
Understanding is the basis of wisdom. Wisdom only begins when the Fear of God is in place. You cannot know and do God’s will if you don’t fear Him. You are not ready for marriage if the word of God cannot control and rule you. If you are always dodgy of God’s word you will make a shipwreck of marriage.
I CORINTHIANS 7:1-7
The avoidance of fornication is a good-enough reason to marry and that is for men and women not for boys and girls. It is better to marry than to be consumed with passion. We can never overemphasise the fact that the boy-friend-girl-friend concept is totally alien to the Culture of God. Don’t befriend anyone with the intention of getting married to them, it can put you in trouble.