THE MYSTERY OF MARRIAGE II

PASTOR OLUWASEYI OSANYINBI

In marriage, people will go through different experiences. However, there will be certain core issues in the process.

PROVERBS 18:22

There are many women but not all can be wives. There are many men but not all can be husbands. People go through stages of development until they mature fully into husband/wife materials. People get ready for marriage at different rates as a result of background, exposure, spiritual growth and a host of others. All the processes we go through in Church are part of the trainings we need to become correct marriage materials. It is wrong for brothers to capitalize on their spiritual positions or anointing to woo sisters for marriage. That is tantamount to manipulation. Finding can only be done within the parameters of godliness. Anything apart from that will lead to disaster.

ROMANS 2:24; EPHESIANS 4:17,18; PROVERBS 6:25-27; JAMES 1:13,14

There are attitudes, inclinations and behavioural patterns that are not expected to be seen among believers. They are supposed to be the prerogative of gentiles. When we do relationship the way gentiles do it, we blaspheme the name of God. Gentile men would always try to create a good impression of themselves which is most often false; they try to impress women with gifts. Gentile women try to seduce men with clothes, make up and by revealing sensitive parts of their body. We have to deal with our darkened understanding so that we will not land in hell in the long run. Many a time, people engage in premarital sex for various reasons. Some want to find out if they can have children before getting married. Some just want to have fun. As such, they begin to cohabit and mess up themselves. That is evil. Fornication and adultery are always hunting for precious souls. You and I have to fight consistently to keep our hearts. If you enter a relationship because of looks and lust, you will most likely not end well. We get drawn into lust because we do not watch our walks. We are often so daring that we get into trouble. Samson is a very perfect example of this blind presumption. You must not walk where angels dare to tread. We must be careful of our fantasies because they will play out in the long run if not attended to. The fastest way to kill a man is through sexual immorality.

Concepts like ‘BOY FRIEND AND GIRL FRIEND’, ‘GOING OUT’, ‘DATING’ are alien to us as believers. We must approach relationships with all sense of commitment.

II CORINTHIANS 6:14; II TIMOTHY 2:22

Unbelievers are not only people outside the Church. There are vicious animals in the Church and we must take care that we don’t get drawn by them. Marriage is a yoke. It is a fellowship. In marriage, two people are expected to be on the same wavelength pursuing the same purpose. Youthful lust is the greatest danger to marital relationships. At a certain age, it is normal for people to be attracted to members of the opposite sex. God made us like that so that we can enjoy sex but it has to be within the context of marriage. As believers, however, it is very abnormal for us to not be able to control the motions of our bodies. You cannot convert an unbeliever just for the purpose of marrying him or her. Holy Ghost is the Converter not you. Never get involved in a relationship just because you think you are getting old. Desperation will always get you into trouble. Don’t marry someone just because he’s based abroad. There’s really no big deal about staying abroad. Character far exceeds beauty. Character far exceeds good dress sense. Beauty and good dress sense don’t make good homes. The process of marriage starts when a man proposes and the woman gives her consent. However, consent is not a license to cohabit or have sex. Other processes like seeking the parents’ consent and solemnization of the matrimony will have to follow. Commitment is one key factor that must always be on the front burner. We must know that we do not have the liberty of ‘entering and getting out’ of relationships at will. A marital relationship must be initiated with all sense of commitment such that there will be no need to keep breaking relationships.